The incredible story of the man, the donkey and the truck (3)



One day, when Pedro’s hatred and envy was nice and ripe, Marxoso told him that there was a better system, which he called “Socialism”. Marxoso explained that Buck’s truck and all other “capital goods” (which he called “means of production”), such as land, farm animals, busses, planes and trucks, machineries, factories, warehouses, workshops and shops, including even intangibles such as patents, trademarks etc, could be given to the State. Then all profits would go to the State, which would use the money for the benefit of all. This way everybody would work for a reasonable wage, would pay no or very little taxes and the poor would be much better off, receiving in addition many goodies such as a free lunch every day, education, healthcare and transportation for free, or perhaps for a nominal fee. Everybody would be happy in a Socialist State, working for the State. Marxoso advised Pedro to steal Buck’s truck and all other “means of production” and give them all to the State.

Pedro discussed this with his friends and they decided to go for it. They formed a band of “guerilla’s”, led by Comandante Fidel el Ruso and Dr. Al Cha and started a Revolution. They stole all the “means of production” the land possessed and, being genuine Robin Hoods, gave them all to the State. The only thing they kept was political power. This is when Pedro became a have-not socialist. But he was not yet aware of that fact.

Pedro opens his second eye.

After some fifty years of Revolution, Pedro assessed his situation. The economy of the Socialist State where he lived was not doing very well. Prices had gone up, but his wages had not. The government was in the process of terminating the “free lunch” programme. Some people were doing appreciably better than others, but nobody was living in opulent luxury as his former boss Buck Business. However, Pedro himself was just as poor as he used to be before the Revolution. He had to do all kinds of little illegal capitalist things to make ends meet. He rented out rooms to tourist illegally, he changed money on the streets illegally, he re-sold goods illegally etc.. And if all failed, he begged.

And then one day he met a bearded man walking along a country-road with a strange image painted on his t-shirt, something with three crosses. At first Pedro did not understand, but this strange man explained to him that he had been had all along. When he left his “hacienda” to work for Buck, he became a have-not capitalist. And after the State had expropriated all means of production and natural resources, he has become a have-not socialist. Both equally have-not.
“You should become a have-Solidarist”, the strange man from an island where the air is good, told Pedro. “Here’s the secret”, he said: “Own or be owned; that’s the Norm”. And he continued: “This secret was handed down to me by a man from Normandy, who fought in the Korean war”. And it is to this Norman that our next article will be dedicated.